Let's face it...you've got to be tough to survive in today's education environment. Despite of the joy we feel when we really connect with a student, it can feel like a thankless job some days. So how do those rock star teachers do it day in and day out? I'm sure you have colleagues that you admire. I certainly do. So often we are encouraged to look at what those teachers do. This is a flip on that thinking. Instead of looking at what they do, lets look at what they don't do.
The Forbes article I read is written for business folks, as you would expect. The motivation for the Conner's article came from a post in Lifehack, a pretty solid self-improvement blog famous for articles featuring lists of what to do to avoid life's perils. Check it out sometime. Psychotherapist and adjunct professor of psychology Amy Morin deserves all the credit for this. It was her article that inspired Cheryl Conner's Forbes article, which in turn set my mental dominoes tumbling.
While reading Conner's article I kept finding parallels for teachers so I thought I'd put down some thoughts. Here's the list.
1. They don't feel sorry for themselves
You don't see mentally strong people complain about how hard things are, or why this or that isn't fair. Look at those teachers you admire. I bet they don't spend much of their mental energy feeling sorry for themselves. They understand and acknowledge that life isn't always fair and move on. When things get tough they emerge stronger and wiser because they used the experience as a growth opportunity.
2. They don't give away their power
Mentally strong teachers don't let other people make them feel bad or inferior. If you're like me, you've made plenty of mistakes in the classroom. Some of those mistakes may have led to an angry parent or visit from your administrator. Mentally strong people don't let those people make them feel like failures because the mentally strong know they are in control of their emotions and how they will respond. If its a mistake they made...they own it and fix it. If its a misunderstanding, they are able to articulate where the breakdown happened and make it better.
3. They don't shy away from change
Many teachers I know struggle with change. They find comfort in the familiar, and let's face it...it makes a tough job easier. Mentally strong teachers understand that the only thing they can count on is that things will change. They embrace it and make it their ally, not their enemy. They don't fear change, they fear becoming stagnant, mediocre teachers.
4. They don't waste their energy on things they can not control
The best teachers in your building don't complain (much) about the new district mandate or lack of parenting they perceive in their students. They focus on what they do have control over. They know they can't fix the parents that don't follow through on homework or let their elementary age children stay up until 11:00. Instead, they provide extra time in their day for those kids to take a break or to finish their homework. They don't waste their time complaining about the new district program pushed on them, they look for the best ways to apply and leverage the new district mandate to their students' advantage.
5. They don't try to please everyone
Uh-oh...this will be a tough one. Most teachers are pleasers. It's taken me a long time to not to be. Most teachers want to be liked by their students, parents, and peers. Mentally strong teachers do too, but they aren't afraid to hold their students accountable or to advocate for their kids and themselves. They speak they minds (in a controlled and respectful manner) in the service of their craft and the needs of their students. They take the unpopular route when necessary without concerning themselves with being pleasers.
6. They don't fear taking calculated risks
The mentally tough calculate the benefits and potential problems before taking a risk,and they do it without fear. They've mastered the voice of negativity nagging their subconscious. Like growth minded individuals, the mentally tough know that if they fail despite of weighing the odds, they have an opportunity to get better at whatever failed. The best teachers are aware of the pitfalls and potential gains before plunging into a new endeavor with students or their colleagues.
7. They don't dwell on the past
We've all made mistakes. Some of mine are..well...never mind. Let's just say risk did always result in reward for me! But once I freed myself of the doubt and self-loathing over it, I was ready to grow and improve my practice. Mentally tough people don't mire themselves in "what was", instead focus on "what might be". They don't pine for "the good ol' days". They do reflect on past experiences, but they don't wallow in it. They put their mental energy into making today and tomorrow the best it can be.
8. They don't make the same mistakes over and over
Mentally strong teachers don't do the same failed lesson over and over expecting different results. The best teachers in your school know when a modality is not hitting the mark. They change their delivery, offer the content in a different format, or provide their students with multiple opportunities to demonstrate their learning. You all know this as differentiation.
9. They don't resent other people's success
You've heard her in the lounge, "Oh Mr. So and So thinks he's such a big shot after winning that grant...". I bet Mr. So and So doesn't think he's a big shot. He's probably an incredibly gifted teacher full of great ideas...one that just got funded. The mentally tough celebrate their colleague's success and look for ways to emulate that success so their students or school might benefit too.
10. They don't give up after failure
If you haven't read Carol Dweck's "Mindset" or Paul Tough's "How Children Succeed" put them on your must read list. If you don't have time, download the iTunes U sessions from the Aspen Ideas Festival's "How We Learn" section. Dweck and Tough are both featured. You'll learn a lot about growth mindset theory and how to apply it to your work with students. It's a game changer...really. The mentally tough seize every failure as an opportunity to improve. They don't blame others for their mistakes. They own them and move on seeking to make it better next time.
11. They don't fear alone time
They can be happy with others and they can be happy alone. They don't need others to inflate their egos or make them feel good about themselves. Alone time to the mentally tough is special time. It is used for planning, reflecting and refinement. Its also used for relaxing. Go ride your bike. You'll be amazed at what you come up with when you're out there.
12. They don't feel that the world owes them anything
All right...if you're inclined to number one on the list (feel sorry for yourself), stop reading now. You won't like what I'm about to say. If you're still reading, know that I'm one of you. Here goes...There is too much entitlement in the teaching culture. We do work hard. Our days our long. We do have some difficult, ungrateful students and parents. We are often misunderstood by administration. If you haven't noticed, not too my people outside of teaching really cares. They have hard jobs, too. They have long days, too. They don't have or expect lavish benefits packages despite of their experience or level of education. The sooner teachers stop thinking that we deserve something extra from society because of the work we do, the sooner we'll gain more respect as a profession. Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me if you want. I'm practicing number five on the list (don't try to please everyone).
13. They don't expect immediate results
The mentally tough know better than to expect immediate results. They know anything worth doing is worth the time investment. They are in it for the long haul. Mentally strong teachers know real change takes time. The mentally tough teacher knows that the difficult student in their classroom will need more time to establish a meaningful relationship. They will invest the time, practice patience and wait for them to come around.
Which of these can you relate to? Which do you need to practice more? Which ever the answer, take pride in what you do and keep doing what you do to improve the lives of children. It is the most important work in the world.
